I’m not sure about anyone else, but I felt, and am still processing, the energies from Mondays solar eclipse.
I wondered why since the eclipse I felt completely energetically drained. My day job is running a small in home daycare so naturally I’m tired from kids all the time. But this felt different than my usual tiredness.
By Tuesday, an unknown leak in a pipe in my ceiling made the ceiling cave in and collapse, leaving a mess of roof all over my floor between my two bedrooms upstairs. Maybe it’s because I was so tired, I didn’t freak out over it. I called the landlord to get it fixed and it was done. The most stressful part of it all was that it was in the middle of nap time. The kids did great! Except my own since her room was inaccessible and she couldn’t get her nap. This did cause stress that was thrown into the toxic stew that would become my emotions later on.
Wednesday, a certain energetic vampire in my life caused the bit of drama I was anticipating would happen for a couple of weeks. The shoe finally dropped offering a tiny bit of relief in that it finally happened and was over (for now), but brought on more anxiety because I’m always waiting for the next shoe to drop. It’s sad, but some people thrive on drama and need it to feed their own insecurities and inflated egos. I imagine this eclipse got these types worked into a frenzy as well. Most don’t even realize they’re doing it. This person is one such person and it’s a bummer for me because a kid is involved, seeing the behavior, and normalizing it.
On that same day, my teenager had the worst day of her high school life. And she’s only a few weeks into freshman year. She was having a total meltdown and me being an easy target, it was all taken out on me. I had to stop, breathe and ask myself how I could help. I went to her father to let him know what was going on. He was no help at all and instead basically told me I was the problem, I’m a terrible meat eater (yes that was thrown in is irrelevant as it is) and she hates living with me.
Excellent, isn’t it?
This is when my anxiety started really rising yet I still wasn’t seeing the big picture. I started to look back at the week and realize I wasn’t sleeping. Usually I have no issues falling asleep, and since I’ve been doing meditation before bed and in the morning you would think I would be sleeping better. I would feel relaxed and as soon as my head hit my pillow, too many thoughts flooded my brain. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was taking on other people’s energy that didn’t belong to me and reliving their dramas in my head. Has that ever happened to anyone else?
By Thursday, I had had enough. I felt like I was going crazy. Old wounds and toxic patterns I thought I had overcome came racing back. I was throwing out accusations of things that weren’t there, I was overthinking and overreacting at my husband, my love, my safe person. I felt like screaming and at the same time crying in a corner.
I contacted some friends in the holistic health field. Okay, they’re friends who are even more weird than I am. The first friend told me that none of my signs are helping me transition right now. A karmic comedy being played on me it seemed!
Since my sun sign is in Gemini and my rising is in Virgo, I’m intensly ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. That helps me explain my racing thoughts. My moon, the “planet” of emotion, is in Sagittarius, causing restlessness, irresponsible and careless behavior. Having my moon in this sign has made me ignore the advice of elders when I was younger, much to my detriment. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized sometimes we need a helping hand from people who have experience.
I made a visit to my friend Alicia who owns a small studio and does private yoga lessons in Placerville, California. She did a sound bath yin practice in order to shake out some of that toxic energy that I couldn’t figure out. I brought my daughter along knowing she needed some healing energy, too.
Something she said struck me. She told me we need to protect ourselves from constant negativity directed at us from energy vampires.
Oh boy, did that hit home and help explain why I’ve been too drained and cranky (more than usual) since that eclipse. There is that certain person mentioned earlier, who I don’t physically have to deal with on a personal level but is unavoidable on an energetic level. Because of this, this person brings so much negative energy into my home by proxy, and I realized how much I’ve been allowing it by my thoughts of negativity towards this person. I can’t get rid of this person and they will in some way be a part my family’s life for the foreseeable future, whether we like it or not. Hence the drama of Wednesday that was inflicted on a family member causing me more anxiety even though it really wasn’t directed at me.That energy was brought more anxiety into the already intense, anxious air diffusing around my home.
Of course, that isn’t the only negativity that I allow. Often times it comes in the form of social media. Just scrolling through Instagram can expose us to a barrage of negative memes, comments and an overdose of narcissism, Kardashian style. Before I know it, I’ve wasted 20 minutes of my life on nothing that has helped to enhance it or at least provide some positive reinforcement. This is where my social media detox comes in so handy.
After my visit with my energy healer friend, my daughter and I both felt so much lighter. We could physically feel the symptoms washing away. I wouldn’t say I was cured, but I had some great insight and perspective and a lot of negativity was indeed shaken out of us both.
She sent me home with some palo santo wood to burn, a calming, grounding essential oil spray and some teas.
Its amazing what some energy work can do to shake things up and help us make a shift. I’ve been doing hypnotherapy for a few months now and it’s really helped me bring up and evaluate old, toxic patterns that aren’t serving me, but I think adjunct therapies are also in order. Sometimes things keep rising to the surface, but we need to see them in context and gain new perspective to be able to thank them for teaching us and then let them go.
I’ve even heard some of my daycare parents tell me that their little ones have been waking up earlier, or have just been restless at night, and then I get them and they sleep for 3 hours during the day. I’ve noticed this with my own kid. I can hear her tossing and turning and I can’t help but think it has something to do with this eclipse and planetary shift.
So, what’s gotten you all shook up during this eclipse? What have you felt? It’s interesting that many have shared my same experience since the eclipse but of course every one is totally different in how they feel things.
As for me, the eclipse has shown me that I need to create some healthy boundaries and not just physically but energetically, even to those I don’t physically have to see and feel with. Once again I’m being shown I need to let go of the things I can’t control, stay present in my body and breath, and live with integrity to my truth forsaking anyone else’s “truth” they may have of me. Often times I’ve been a victim of projection and have internalized it so much that I allowed it to become a part of who I was. We have to remember not to take on energy that isn’t ours. How many of us have had an interaction with a negative co-worker or family member and it totally brought down our mood? This is an obvious example of what I mean.
So, I have my smudge sticks, my palo santo, my meditation and my affirmation mantra and I am not afraid to use them! I refuse to be a victim of energy vampires who prey on me when I’m at my weakest. This eclipse shined more light into those shadow aspects of myself that I haven’t been looking at and I am thankful. I am thankful for all my weird friends in my life who help to guide me on my path.
Namaste friends! Much love.