You know what feels really good?
Realizing I’m not that important and not giving a shit what people think of me.
Not in the way a sociopath doesn’t give a shit about people’s feelings. Or in the way a narcissist pretends they don’t give a shit but care greatly because heaven forbid the impeccable persona they’ve built for the world to see come crashing down and they are seen for who they really are.
Just that it’s none of my business what people think of me and it’s completely out of my control, so I don’t care. I can’t care if I want to live any kind of life peaceful life.
If I’m firmly rooted in my truth of who I am then nothing that anyone thinks about me or says about me can shake me up. That puts power in my own hands and takes it away from toxic people who try to play on my insecurities by projecting their own into me. I’ve given them enough power over the course of my life. Enough is enough.
When I don’t worry or care about what people are thinking, seeing or projecting, it frees up so much space for me mentally to take care of the things that truly matter.
None of us has to put up with that shit and for me, it starts with not taking anything personally. Nothing is ever personal if you really think about it. I can even self reflect on judgements I make about people as well to keep myself in check to ensure I don’t project onto them, either. This all takes work.
All this being a human business is so hard! A flower doesn’t compete with another flower, it just blooms, so the cliche goes. Ducks don’t hold grudges after a fight. Watch them; they just shake it off and swim off together, content.
We humans are given this gift of “higher thinking” that’s also a curse sometimes. It makes us detach from the natural world, from our intuitive sense because we’re so focused and worried about dramas we and other people create. We’re so focused on grudges we hold against others. And we get so focused on what other people think of us. I’m as guilty of it as the next person and have to regularly put myself in check.
I can look at it like, “oops. Did my ego bump up against your ego?” And know that that isn’t who either of us is. So let’s just drop it. If we all take responsibility for ourselves it makes our world much less complicated, doesn’t it?
Or you don’t have to, but I do. For my own peace. To find my own contentment.